Friday, June 16, 2006

God's Awesome Ways!!

Well my knee replacement is just around the corner. To be exact 4 days from now, it should be replaced and I will be on my way to recovery. I had been questioning if I should go through with it, afterall, lately it has been better, not so painful. In fact I went to prayer and asked God to confirm for me that it was the right decision. Quite a few days past and I prayed everyday for God to confirm and give me peace. Yesterday at work it was slow, so I decided to go on the internet and read about knee replacements. There were 1000's of sites so I glanced over them and then just clicked on one. A page came up and this is what it said at the top of the page in big bold letters "DO NOT DELAY GETTING YOUR KNEE REPLACED". My mouth dropped and I smiled. Just like that there was a peace that came over me and God had chosen to write it out in bold letters for me. I guess I just wasnt listening close enough to His still small voice.

Ah, but isnt God awesome? When I didnt take the time to sit and listen he spoke to me loud and clear.

I went on to read the article that came after that and it all confirmed that I should go ahead with the knee replacement. So with requests that you keep me in your prayers, I will be having the knee replacement next Tue at 7:30 in the morning.

Thanks for your concern and prayers

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Do things really come in 3's

If they do, then it worries me. With my knee surgery just a few days away, I got word today that my niece Patti has breast cancer. That word cancer just puts a fear in I think everyone's heart. It is a Stage I cancer so there is every good hope for a full recovery from it. I am certainly praying for that. If you read my blog, please pray for her too.

I just dont want to hear any more bad news. You know when that kind of news comes to me I feel this overwhelming feeling of doom and gloom. Now I know that it is bound to bring a very sad feeling but when I heard this I virtually got sick to my stomach. Patti is only 40 I believe. I guess it is something that you know happens but you always think it will happen to someone else. It is not as if I dont have a hope. Afterall I believe that God IS. And that he is still in the business of answering prayer and doing miracles. Lord, help my unbelief in those times that I allow fear to almost paralyize me and forget the power that I have in Christ Jesus.

I am a living example of over coming cancer. I had uterine cancer 23 years ago and no sign of a reoccurnace has showed. And I do praise and thank God for that. PTL!!!!

With this, I pray that Patti will be healed either miraculously or through her doctors and I pray that I will come through the knee replacement surgery with a quick recovery.


Friday, June 09, 2006

11 Days to go

I went to my family practice doctor yesterday for my pre-op check up. All is a go. She found me fit for the surgery. I really try hard NOT to think about it or it scares me. My cousins husband sent me a website that had a virtual knee replacement. I started to watch it but I could not get very far into it. I really dont want to know all the details of it. Pictures in a book is fine. It was sweet of him to send it to me. He had one about a year ago. But this queezy tummy cant take that. I just know that I am praying and my friends and family are praying for me so I am trusting that I am going to have a very good outcome, with NO complications and the most minimal of pain.

Being without any anti-inflamatory drugs is the hardest part. I am able to take Tylenol but even with that there seems to be a constant ache up and down about 6 inches from my knee that feels like it is the bone that is hurting. Wonder if it really is the bone aching or just the muscels around it.

I have a cane but have not used it alot, but I think before I get to the surgery, I may have to use it. I know it is stupid pride that keeps me from using it. I remember thinking my mom was foolish not to use the cane or the walker, now I fully understand. Mom, forgive me!!!!

I chose this date for my surger back in March. I realize now it isnt going to be the most convenient for me. I will be missing out on the Moteberg family gathering at Gil's sisters lake cabin, and my "adopted" son from Belize is going to be in the Twin Cities area from the 20th to the 26th. I dont even know if I will feel good enough to even visit with him and his family and I know I wont be able to entertain. That makes me feel sad. BUT,,, I believe God has a plan for all of this, so I will just leave it in His hands.

Last night in our Bible study it said that we are more apt to grow in our spiritual life through adversity then through prosperity, so I am hopeful that my faith and spirit will grow stronger through this.

Just me,,, musing!!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Trip home!!

They say you can never go home again. Well after being gone from Kulm, ND for 42 years going back there , a lot of memories came back. Oh I make it there once or twice a year, I have a brother and 2 sisters that still live there.

Last weekend Jim and I spent from Friday afternoon until Sunday afternoon there. There was no wedding, no reunion, no funeral and no celebration either. It was just a visit back there to see my siblings. I guess it was this fact that my mind had more time to just take in the small town and think of how it used to be when I lived there so many years ago.

Soooo many changes and yet in some ways nothing had changed. One of the major changes was going back to the church I grew up in and recognized only my cousins, and siblings there. So many new faces. Another change now outside of the town between Edgeley and Kulm are many huge electric generating windmills. My sister tells me that all the revenue to the county from them are going to the schools and each kid gets a palm pilot, and notebook computer to use for the school year and both the elementary and high school are air conditioned. Wow,, what a difference from when I attended there. Very little dairy farming goes on there anymore. Mostly huge grain farms or farmers have put thier land into something called CRP (I think) where the government pays them not to farm the land. That didnt happen when I lived there 42 years ago. All available land was planted and harvested. Also, there is so much water there. The road up to the farm where I grew up, is under water and to get there you have to cut through CRP land and other fields. My brother tells me its it because small dams (built to keep water for the cattle) have broken and with so little dairy in the area, those are not fixed so the water drains. I remember when I was very young we had a large lake not 1/2 mile from the hosue where there were fish and people boated, but that completely dried up over the years, no doubt from farmers building those small dams, well it is all back and then some. Last time I was out to the farm (last year) I was struck with the beauty of the area. When I was growing up I didnt think it was so beautiful, but eastern ND where I grew up are some very nice rolling hills. I do remember we had a large hill behind the house where we lived, and my little brother and I many times used to run up that hill and watch the sun set a 2nd time. Warm memory!!
Another thing that hasnt changed is the clear blue skies and clean air.

Main street has changed very little in how it looks. Oh there are different businesses in the buildings but the buildings look much the same. The cafe has been in the same spot since I was a very little girl. Many owners including my sister and my niece and some remodeling in the inside but the same spot.

As we were traveling back to Minnesota on Sunday, there were many melancholy feelings that passed through my mind/heart. Thoughts of wishing it could be like it used to be, but knowing it never will be and knowing in my heart, that I could never go back.