Aphorism

APHORISM:


[A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE THAT EXPRESSES A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH ]

1. The nicest thing about the future is . . . that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important . . . because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Scratch a cat . . .. and you will have a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. - like, it could be the right number.

13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap.

15. Be careful about reading the fine print. . . . There's no way you're going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos in strange places? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)

18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a VW..

19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you're probably dead.

20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind . . . . and the ones that mind don't matter.

21. Life isn't tied with a bow . . . . . . . but it's still a gift.

Harmon Killebrew

REST IN PEACE

You gave Minnesota baseball fans so many fond memories.

June 29, 1936 – May 17, 2011

My Sons blog... Check it out

He is a good writer and I hope he is not upset that I posted this here... I took the liberty as a mom to do so.

http://blogofice.wordpress.com/

Is there a murderer in the house??

Paranoia was racing wildly at our house last night.  Oh not for Jim, he was sound asleep.  You see we went out for a couple of hours last night.  When we came home, the TV was on, but no sound.  I thought that very strange as I was the one who turned off the TV and it was off.  Anyway I thought "oh well, I must not have been thorough".  Then it was time for bed, and I went to check the doors and the patio door was unlocked and the screen door was not in the closed position.  I mentioned this to Jim and he said, "well maybe someone was in the house and left quick when the garage door went up but nothing is misplaced or missing".  Well I didn't like the sound of that but went on line to do an email.  Then it was time for bed and I checked all the doors again.  This time I noticed that the front door had just the dead bolt locked and not the other one.  This too was very strange to me,,, so, my imagination kicked into high gear.  I was sure someone was in the basement, just waiting for us to go to bed and come upstairs and kill us.  We do not have a lock on the basement door, so I stuck a couple of butter knives in the door jam.  Yes, I actually did that and I took a knife to bed with me to lay by my night stand.  I figured if they broke the door jam to get upstairs, I would hear it and wake up and I would be prepared to stab them (think I have been watching too much Human Target?  Which by the way they canceled this year.. I am so sad).   So anyway, I went to bed and tired to fall asleep with one eye open.  It doesn't work.  I woke several times during the night.  Must have been something that rousted me.  But thank God, both Jim and I were still alive this morning and the knives are still in the door jam leading to the basement. 

So that is the saga for Sandi and the murderer in the basement!!

Recall Notice

RECALL NOTICE:  

The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.

This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some of the symptoms include: 1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.
The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. 
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component. 
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with: 1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control 
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus. 
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention! 
- GOD 
P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'!  
Because He Lives!