Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Wow - Dont read if you dont want to be depressed

I cant for the life of me figure out what is wrong with me. I feel like I cant feel. Now I know that sounds stupid, but it is what it is right now. I don't feel happy, I don't feel sad, I don't feel excited, I am not enthused for my job but I don't want to quit it. I care about my kids but I feel so detached from all that is going on in their lives. Mainly, I would like to go to a corner of the world where no one else is right now, OR, I want to go and be in the midst of the most activity I can find on this globe. Am I loosing it?

The only thing that I still feel is that I want to eat, and I want to eat everything that I can lay my hands on. Now if only that would go away.

There is so much yucky stuff in this world, sometimes I wonder why anyone wants to go on. But then we don't have a say in that matter. Oh I know that my faith in God should sustain me through everything, and I know it is my fault perhaps that I don't feel that peace, because I have not taken the time to pray and read the Bible like I should. I know that there is a lot of counsel, solace and direction there. Then why is it so hard to do it? If I KNOW it is a source of help for me, why don't I run to it instead of wanting to be in a corner of the world all alone or in the midst of the most din I can find?

I am one mixed up goofy person


At 5:06 AM , Blogger Pat said...

Awww...it is yucky to feel that way. I think that everyone at one time or another just wants to be invisible. Life wears us down and we just need to stop! Totally stop and have no pressure. And yes..even happy stuff is pressure and we often become overwhelmed. I feel the world moves way too fast and we hardly have time to breathe. We get pulled in so many directions and things pile up that have to be done and it seems never ending sometimes. ugh.

I cannot help you with the faith issue, sorry. I too would think that that should be immense comfort to you especially since you have such a strong belief. Maybe you need to make a permanent time with you and Jim to drag out that Bible and have a one on one with God every day. Make a new habit of a set time to renew that faith and make the bond stronger so you feel more comfort. Or at least ask him to make food taste yuckier..LOL.

hugs, Pat

At 11:20 AM , Blogger Tonja said...

You are not crazy. I feel the same way most of the time. We are so busy and take time for everything but the ONE who will give us peace. I feel detached from you sometimes too, and again, I think the culprit is busyness. But how do we slow down? I am sorry you are feeling crappy. I love you.


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