The Weekend

My sister Phyllis is dying. Unless God does a miracle and heals her, I don't think we will have her with us long. Jim and I planned to go to ND this weekend to see her. We planned to leave at noon on Friday. I was going to leave work between 11 and 11:30 and we were going to head out around 1 or so we would have been on the road. But my sister Judy called and said that they were going to start giving her morphine and she might become very groggy, so I took off right then at 10:30. We were on the road by 11:45. It was raining, but when we got to around Alexandria MN it started to turn to snow and slush started building up on the roads very fast as the temps had dipped to the 32 degrees mark. There were several cars in the ditch so we slowed down very quick. When we got to the other side of Alexandria a few miles they had not had the rain and so the roads were not as slick. When we got to Fergus Falls and turned west the blowing snow made it almost white out conditions and snow was building up on the roads. We drove in weather like that until we got to Milnor, ND. When the snow stopped and it was just cold and windy. We got to my sister Judy's about 5:45. That was 7 hours after we started and usually the trip takes 5 hours.

I wanted to go right over to see my sister Phyllis before dinner so we went. When I saw her it was like someone hit me in the chest with a huge rock. She is a shadow of who she used to be. This was a lady who worked circles around us and here she is unable to walk by herself and by today she was not able to sit up by herself. It is such a horrible feeling to see your sibling laying there dying and there isn't a cotton picking thing you can do about it. I would give her what ever I could if she could be well again. I have cried so many tears, I don't know if there are many left. We stopped by to say good bye to her this morning before we left and I hugged her daughter Jan and I cried so hard knowing it is probably the last time I will see her alive unless God does a miracle. Which I KNOW he can do, but I don't know if he will do it and why not??? I sure do wish I knew. I just wanted to get in bed beside her and just lay there. Not talking to her or making her think or hear me, but just lay beside her. But I suppose the whole family would have thought I was stark raving mad, and maybe she would have too. But that is what I wanted to do,, just lay there and never leave her side.

I do feel totally emotionally wrung out tonight. I feel like I could lay down and go to sleep for a very very long time.

Please if you read this blog, will you pray for Phyllis that she wont have to suffer.

Thanks for reading

Blessings
Sandi