Remembering

This has been a rough week for me in general. No not because we have been dumped on with tons of snow, but because today it has been 5 years since Gil passed away. Yesterday and today the tears have been just below the surface and fall without any notice. I see Gil everywhere and he has been in my dreams. In my dreams he looks sooooooo good. The last one I had I told him I missed him and he hugged me and told me I was doing good but that he couldnt stay. But that we would see each other again. How could I wish him back into this world? But I do. I know it is selfish. When I think of the "stuff" that he hasn't had to witness I am almost a bit jealous. But then I see too all the wonderful things he has missed, like his 2 grandsons, and my heart aches. Not just for me but for those 2 wonderful little guys who never got to know that wonderful man the other grandkids call Papa. I know that Faith and Abbe have little rememberances of him, but they have pictures of themselves with him, and when you look at those pictures you can see the love in his eyes for each of them. I ache too because he hasnt seen (with me anyway) our grandgirls Miss and Em doing such a great job performing in thier high school theater and music productions. I wish too that he could be here next year to see Miss graduate and all the grandkids after her. And again the tears fall unheeded.

I have come to realize that I will probably never stop missing him. That there will ALWAYS be times that I wish desperately that he could be here.

5 years ago today, heaven became richer and earth became poorer because of the loss of a wonderful great man - husband - father - Papa - brother - uncle - cousin - friend- - - -
Gilbert Moteberg.

Here's to you Gil ((((((((((((XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX)))))))))))) You will always be loved and missed

Sandi