Things that are stressing

In the course of a lifetime there are many different things that stress a person.  The ones that stressed me in the 20's and 30's seem hardly like a memory anymore.  Now the things I am stressed about, when I was 20 and 30 I never gave a second thought to. 

The things that stress me today is the fact that I will soon be 66.  And after making a deal with my boss when I was 65 to continue working until I was at least 66 I am still working.  He did this by offering me to work Mon through Thur and I didn't have to take a cut in pay.  That is an offer that is hard to turn down.  I have 2 bosses and I know that hands down they are the BEST that anyone could ever have.  I feel so blessed to be working for them.  Which makes my desire to retire even harder. It seems that our children even tho they are grown still need help from time to time and we are happy that we can do that.  I grew up in a very monetarily poor family.  I guess I really didn't realize we were poor until I was in high school because we were so loved at home and living on a farm, we always had enough food and we were never cold or without enough clothes.  I guess today, our kids generation is one that thinks they should start out in life where we were after working 10 or 15 years.  And the fact is many do have that opportunity.  My kids didn't, so I am not talking about them in that aspect.  But times are tough now.  Things have gotten so expensive.  Oh I know that wages are much higher too.  I guess I am just rattling as the thoughts come to my head. 

Another thing, I am not sure I could be home day after day after day.  Isn't that crazy?  I am used to going to a job and getting kudos there.  Who will give me kudos (because we all need them) once I quit work? 

Yet every morning when the alarm goes off I think, I really don't want to get up right now.  But once up and moving I am fine and I enjoy my job.  The commute I could do without. 

Another stress is that when I held my first born baby, my little girl, the life I envisioned for her certainly has not come into being.  Oh she is a GREAT person.  I am proud of her I don't know if I know of anyone who is a stronger person then she is.  She is planning to move back to MN and I would LOVE LOVE LOVE that.  But I am worried about Abbe her 12 year old daughter.  I want her to be happy and it is a rough time for a move.  But I know that if God is in it, that it will all work for good.  She is the sweetest happy young lady anyone could meet.  She rarely cries and when she does it breaks my heart because she cries like her heart is broken.  Oh my how I love my grand kids.  I want the best for all of them.  Why cant we just make decisions for them?  We have lived much longer then they have and we can see the roads that they are walking and the ones that they need to get off.  I pray for my children and grandchildren everyday so I know that God has them on His radar.  I just hope and pray that with all the "free will" floating around that He gets through to them.

OK,, this has been a rambling post and will probably make no sense to anyone but me.  But it feels good just to write it.