Thursday, September 02, 2010

Man - Glad this check shreding is done for now

My heart is so heavy right now and the tears are right at the brim of my eyes.  I just finished shredding the last of the checks from Gil's and my checkbook back from the early 1990's.  Seeing his handwriting puts such a deep ache in my heart and I miss him so  SO DOGGONE much.  God took him way too early from this earth.  We had so many plans.  I guess that just goes to show how much weight our plans hold.  Life is so fragile.  We don't know if we will have next year or even next month or tomorrow.  

These feelings I get about Gil have nothing to do with my relationship with and love for Jim.  They are 2 totally different things.  I am thankful for Jim in my life.  He is a great companion and Friend whom I love. But there are these times that I see, or hear, or smell something, and memories of Gil flood my whole being and I ache.  I guess that is what love is all about.  Memories go on and keep that love alive.

4 Comments:

At 5:12 PM , Blogger Pat said...

I can now sympathize with you since my brother's passing. I think I am closer to him than any other of my family and it is indeed hard to even touch their "Stuff" let alone get rid of it.

One good thing is that you do have many happy memories and the not so good one will continue receding into the background.

Allt his just shows us how short can be and to enjoy every minute and not worry so much about the future.

At least I have learned this with my brother's passing. I am going to stop putting off many things.

Hugs, Pat

 
At 7:18 PM , Blogger Tonja said...

(((((Mom))))))

I love you.

Tonja

 
At 11:34 AM , Blogger jan said...

OH Sandi -- I feel for you so much! I know your heart was left with such a big hole -- Gil was a wonderful man - I love him very much --

keep blogging -- it's good for our soul! -- I read it - and if no one else does - too bad -- just keep putting your thoughts down!

love you! jan

 
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