Tired ,,, oh so tired.
I have felt like I could sleep 24/7 lately and I am on the verge of crying almost at the drop of a hat. I have been trying to figure out what in the world is wrong with me. Today I realized I am missing Gil sooooo much. He died way to young. I need him here. I REALLY need him. Sometimes all I want to do is go and see him. Life can get so heavy when you don't have the person that you really want to share something with. I know that this is a really downer post, but tonight I feel like I cant get much lower. I feel nothing but sadness. I don't remember ever feeling like this before in my life. Maybe there is something physically wrong with me that is making me feel this way, I don't know. I do know that I had a piece of toast this morning and then it was time to make dinner and I realized I hadn't eaten all day and I didn't feel particularly hungry. I did eat dinner and tried one of the cookies I made. I also feel so cold at bedtime. I crawl in bed and the core of my body feels cold and it takes forever to warm up. Maybe it wont be long before I see Gil. One never knows.
I do love Christmas so I don't know why that would be the reason for the black cloud, but I have heard and read that holidays can do that to a person, but Gil has been gone for almost 10 years already.. Oh my goodness... how can that be. I MISS HIM!!!
posted by Sandi @ 9:52 PM
5 Comments
5 Comments:
dang...I wrote long comment and blogger ate it. oh poop
oh yea...NOW it decides to post it.
well..I am going to try to redo my other one.
awww...If I could buy you a present of one day or one moment with Gil, I would pay all I have to give it to you.
I think aging is part to blame. I myself find myself more vulnerable and all the old adages I have heard are ringing true to me as never before. Right now the one " we never miss things until they are gone" is oh so true. I find myself so much more vulnerable and alone now that my brother is gone. I had not felt that before even with passing of my parents but I think now that I am truly the last of the family...I find time has flown by way too fast and I surely didnt make the best use of it. regrets? ah huh.
hugs drear friends, Pat
Oh momma. I find myself missing daddy around Christmas too. He loved it so much! I miss smelling his British Sterling, and seeing him dressed up in his best. I miss seeing his delight as we opened up our gifts. I miss hearing him rave about how good your cooking is. I miss his hugs, and looks of love. I know he is having the best time celebrating Jesus' birthday with him, but Christmas just isn't the same here on Earth without Gilbert Moteberg. You are so very blessed to have been able to have been married to such a wonderful man. My prayer is that someday Luke will be a man just like his papa, whom he reminds us so much of.
I love you mommy. I can't wait to come see you. And don't feel bad for how you feel. You have every right to feel that way.
My friend, you must have been here with me lately. I have done nothing but sit and cry for a few days. Gene died on the 15th of Dec. and every year no matter how long ago it was, really hits me hard. Debbie said the same thing. I don't like being depressed it is hard to shake. I wish I could go and see Gene, and someday I will. I guess right now God still wants me here. I do believe the end is soon, and we will all be reunited. Take care my friend. Love you, and am praying.
It really isn't fair. I miss him so much too. But Mamma, I think I would just curl up and die if you were to go to heaven. I know how hard it must be to be without him, but you still have so many people here who LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU. Don't wish to go to heaven too soon!
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